mumblingMJ

This loneliness has too long consumed My every breath,they are close enough to touch The nightmares have turned to cracks of dream Speckles of hope is all I can muster at this point in life Behind this mask I’m weathered Behind this paint my house is graying My heart stopped beating that day I began my quest to die at my own hand The problem with dying this way is it’s too slow You get to seeing those faces that brought you here Those same faces that drag you back out of the grave And the problem with this is those faces are memories Memories only keep you warm and going for so long Time and time again you find yourself

 I can’t sleep this tired away My head is forever descending into Free falling blackness of life Not getting a break from this heartache my heart is failing With each breath they are wailing The one who begot me detest me Ugly truth but sadly there it is Perpetually seeing disappointment Where once love radiated upon me Resting my enervated brain brings pain,these trials are never ending What’s the fucking point? Your tears will dry Your peace will come My pain will be no more

I put all of my love All of my faith in you You were my protector I just a child Meekly I shook Down that aisle Held up by the only man To ever show me Unconditional love You took those vows Burned them with hate I fall and I fall Never finding grace Never knowing acceptance Forgetting What love Should really look like Feel like I can't remember the taste I don't know What I've not done I know some I know animals Get treated better I know my chest Will forever remain An open wound Never healing I want so badly to go To where the ones who loved me Have gone for good But I'm not done yet There has to be meaning In this suffering There has to b

Selfishness rising again Like the burning I crave it so damn bad Too old too tired to Scream and bang my head No use in begging There is no fix for this This emptiness

You cannot shatter me More of a force Than you reckoned for Like the snake I move around Silently avoiding Observing my enemies Until the time For that strike Is perfect In its performance Emerald eyes Look so distant In the mirror Black circles Surrounding my gems One more time One more strike

I will dance through this hell Alone I will come to you covered in Mud The blood of climbing black up Again Alone I'll make soap of you Bathe in your tears I've jars saved Burnt candles chants Fizzled hairs stolen From a stray brush Sending pictures of my work I smile as I pretend to empathize I may have danced with a devil but The devil crossed a soldier